These few days, I was so lazy to commit myself to do something beneficial. These due to so many reasons. Firstly, I was tired after continuous did swimming practice to strengthen my legs. I feel so old, easily fatigue when I tried to go for few feet. 10 years ago, a day or two would recover my energy back but not now, I need 4 days or more. Anyway, I found it very effective to fill my free time and at the same time to release my stress. Plus, swimming is one of the Sunna that is highly recommended by Prophet(pbuh).
However, the main reason that lead to this sorrowful gap(doing nothing) was due to the dark effects of continuous and repeatedly involving in major and minor sins. I have been thinking, the past scholars manage to produce volumes of books due to their hearts that uncorrupted and pure. It comes easily without having much efforts as their hearts shines. For example, to retrieve references, we need to open books, looking and searching for them but not to them, as they remember the source of knowledge in their heart, so anytime they can relate and support their point of views from those sources. No books, no internet are needed except that they have to check their isnad of their sources.